I remember when I was six years old, I was a little skinny girl and didn’t want to go out and do exercises. Thus, I was not good at all sport activities, such as swimming. However, maybe because I was born in the summer, I had a passion to play in the water although I didn’t know how to swim at all. Of course, in order to keep myself safe in the pool, I had to wear either the arm floats or the swim sweater and play around just in the shallow pool area.
In fact, I hoped I could swim freely without the “barrier” as other children did. I tried to learn it from my dad and uncles. Actually, they were not the professional teachers. What they taught and told me were just according to their opinions and exercises. At the beginning, they taught me how to paddle by using my arms, and then use my feet to paddle and tread water on my back. After I did lots of the same kinds of practices, I thought I would be able to swim without both their assistances and the “barrier”. When I started to do so, it worked for the first few minutes. But after that, my body started to drown into the water no matter how I paddled my arms and feet. Meanwhile, my rhythmic sculling actions became a fighting struggle in the water. I couldn’t keep my face above the surface of the water. Certainly, I was rescued by my dad and uncles at that time.
After that time, I found it was a magical skill that was hard for me to learn because although I followed the steps that my dad and uncles told me, I still couldn’t swim and couldn’t even float without the “barrier”. I thought the arm floats or any other flotation aids were not the real barrier for me to learn swimming, but the dependent behavior and the fear of being unsecured in my mind.
After my mom heard the story, she tried to help me out by using another way. She asked me to go to the pool with her. I hesitated because I was scared by the experience last time. But, finally I decided to go because I still didn’t want to give up so soon, and I still wanted to succee.
When we arrived at the pool, we dressed in our swimwear and did the warm-up exercises as usual. Then, we were just playing in the water. I was curious why my mom didn’t teach me swimming at all. Wasn’t that the reason why we came to the pool? In fact, I didn’t really care that much at that moment, and just enjoyed playing in the water. While we were having a rest and sitting around the pool, suddenly, my mom pushed me into the water. I was shocked and started to drown into the water. I could not breathe and call out for help. Meanwhile, I hardly heard my mom said: “Come on, do what you have learnt from your father and uncles! You will be fine.” At that moment, I was blowing the bubbles, drinking the water, and struggling to try to grab something or someone to get above of the surface of the water. Suddenly, I barely saw there was something that looked like a kickboard floating not far away from me. I was overjoyed and tried to grab it. But when I remembered my mom's words, I decided not to do so because I thought maybe I should believe her. So, I tried to paddle the way that I had learned before. But I regretted immediately because I found out that my body was drowning faster into the bottom of the pool. It was even worse than struggling. I started to blame my mom in my mind. Why could she be so ruthless to me? Did she want to kill her little poor daughter? I was scared, helpless, and angry. After a few minutes, I was tired and gave up the struggle.
Certainly, I was rescued again at the end. I was choking and crying when I could breathe again. I felt embarrassed and stupid that my mom did nothing when I was dying for help. Maybe her way could work for somebody else, but obviously, it didn’t work for me. I kept scolding my mom and asking her why she let me struggled for such a long time. She explained that she hoped her words could encourage me. I was upset and ignored her for a few days after that. After that time, no matter what she told me, I never practised learning swimming again because of the scary memory and frustration.
Also, I see that you're using the "transitional" words (however, certainly, in fact, thus, of course). These words are not helping your writing, and they usually don't fit in the sentences where you've used them. Just leave them out.
B-