"There is nothing so impossible in nature, but mountebanks will undertake; nothing so incredible, but they will affirm."
The great Colin Purrington (remember him from this post?), in association with a graphic designer, Felix Sockwell, has turned his hilarious (and completely accurate) parody stickers of the Cobb County, Georgia textbook stickers into this great chart. And it was in Sunday’s New York Times. It’s just as good as his original stickers…even funnier, in fact, and even sharper and more accurate, too. Thanks to the NCSE for noticing!
One day soon I’ll finally get my philosopher-king proposal worked out (Intellocracy), and the coup will follow shortly thereafter. I’ve had it (after this past election) with democracy. It’s a failed experiment, and it’s more than time to abandon it. In the new order, under the benevolent monarchy of the intelligentsia, all will be well, all shall be well, and all manner of things will be well.
Of course, in the meantime, we’ll probably need a century or two of plain old monarchy–beginning with me, HRH Joe I, and continuing through my descendants. After a few generations of that, we should be set.
Here’s Stephen Maturin on monarchy:
Man is a deeply illogical being, and must be ruled illogically. Whatever that frigid prig Bentham may say, there are innumerable motives that have nothing to do with utility. In good utilitarian logic a man does not sell all his goods to go crusading, nor does he build cathedrals; still less does he write verse. There are countless pieties without a name that find their focus in a crown. It is as well, I grant you, that the family should have worn it beyond the memory of man; for your recent creations do not answer – they are nothing in comparison of your priest-king, whose merit is irrelevant, whose place cannot be disputed, nor made the subject of a recurring vote.
Changing the bedding in my daughter’s gerbil cage, and one of the little buggers slipped out. In a frenzy to prevent one of the cats from having a gerbil snack (they were watching very attentively), I grabbed the rodent maybe a little too hard. She slipped free. I grabbed her again. She sank her teeth into the meat of my index finger. More like a pinch than a bite, but she kept a very powerful gnawing pressure. Those teeth are not too sharp, but the jaws are strong!
I got her back in the cage, and got the bedding changed, and now I’ve got a deep black and blue, with a little hole and a few drops of blood. I’m sitting here with a throbbing finger, thinking about the early symptoms of tetanus.
I’m sure that most of us have heard about this sticker that (with some very devious and dishonest reasoning) the Cobb County school district has decided to put on their Biology textbooks. It’s a very bad move, suggesting to students that evolution is somehow questionable, or unreliable, or different from all the rest of the science (cells, atoms, gravity) they will be learning. The move, of course, was generated by the Intelligent Design movement, the “creationism in a lab coat” subterfuge currently being attempted since creationism itself can not be taught in public schools. Intelligent Design has been thoroughly and repeatedly debunked, and it does not belong in science classes (although the history and development of this anti-evolution movement, as well as its philosophical and religious roots, would make a great subject for a class in American History, History of Religion, Cultural Studies, Sociology, Anthropology, etc.)
But how to combat this kind of thing? How to make the point so clear that it can’t be missed? Well, Colin Purrington (an associate professor of evolutionary biology at Swarthmore–I’ve never met the man, but I’m a big admirer!) Has come up with a brilliant sheet of alternative stickers (see just one of my favorites on the right–there are about ten more, and some of them are even funnier). You can bet that right after Thanksgiving, when Staples is open again, I’m going to be buying me some sticker paper. These just beg to be printed. Thanks, Dr. Purrin! And please, everyone, make a donation to the National Center for Science Education today. Our students need all the help they can get.
I tried some of the cute little quizzes at Quizilla to give my Intensive Writing class a break from practice exams today (we met for four days this week–we’re all pretty sick of each other). They enjoyed them, and posted their results on their blogs, so I thought I’d add my own result from the “Which of the Humours Are You” quiz. I think they got me absolutely right!
You are Phlegmatic. You have a peace-loving nature, and make a good listener and a faithful friend. You do have a tendency to be selfish and stubborn in your worst moments, and your worrying can lean towards paranoia. Phlegmatics should consider careers as accountants, diplomats, engineers, and administrators. You are a somewhat reluctant leader, but your practicality and steady nerve under pressure makes you a natural choice for leadership roles.
And on the same day, another little brother sold a pilot to NBC!
(too bad, as he told me the story, that it’s a story I remember–and although he sold it as a dark comedy, when it really happened, it was lot more dark than comedy!)
Nice work, John–moving up to the bigtime (and to Monterey!)
Today Fish and Game Director Ryan Broddrick also announced the appointment of John Ugoretz as the department’s senior policy advisor to the MLPA (Marine Life Protection Act) Initiative. As a senior marine biologist with the Department of Fish and Game, John was responsible for the planning and management of marine protected areas throughout the state, including acting as the mandate team coordinator for the Marine Life Protection Act and Channel Islands Marine Reserves processes. In his 12 years with DFG, John has been involved in a variety of projects, including monitoring stocks of Pacific herring, SCUBA surveys of marine protected areas and rockfish in Monterey and Big Sur, coordinating the pelagic shark tagging program in Long Beach, and abalone and sea urchin monitoring and management in Santa Barbara. John is a DFG research SCUBA diver, a member of the department’s Diving Safety Board, an avid angler and spear fisherman, and a U.S. Coast Guard licensed captain.
They don’t mention, though, among his qualifications, that he used to want to grow up to be a cowboy, and insisted on being called “Bob,” because it was more of a cowboy name!
Today the Chronicle of Higher Ed paper edition arrived in the mail as it always does…and the little article about me is there in print, too! How nice! 😎
Sometimes Wonkette is not too funny…but sometimes she really cracks me up!
With Colin Powell gone, the White House looks forward to a slightly less stringent approach to invasion rationale. And, according to this list we found floating around, they’re taking advantage of that:
Country — Reason to Invade
Iran — Part of the Axis of Evil.
Syria — Harbors terrorists.
Kyrgyzstan — Too much like Kazakhstan.
North Korea — Not allowed when on Atkins diet.
Egypt — The pyramid is speaking to me.
Canada — Mmmm….bacon….
Ukraine — Started that whole cellophane wrapping of CDs and we hate that.
Thailand — Well, now that Ashcroft’s stopped spending the weekends there…
The Fauklands — Dirty-sounding name.
Lichtenstein — President does not believe this country exists.
National Geographic Society — On every map, no apparent sovereign.
California — Why not?
Poland — Don’t forget Poland.
I may never be able to complain about The Chronicle of Higher Education again, and I certainly can’t let my subscription lapse anymore. They not only attended and covered the League CIT, they actually sent someone to hear me! And not only that, she even wrote about it–and even included a photo. The little piece (I say modestly) is right in the middle of the Chronicle’s page of “Continuing Coverage” of the conference (their conference blog, to be precise). Right about halfway down the page, there I am.
It may be as close to the bigtime as I ever come. 🙂