Mountebank Blog

Isn’t it a great world when a talk-show moron on a major cable network (Bill O’Reilly at Fox) feels free to slam a caller (and by extension, all Jews) with the exact same slur (“go back to Israel”) that was hurled at me (along with rocks and dogshit) on my way to and from school in 7th grade?

You have a predominantly Christian nation. You have a federal holiday based on the philosopher Jesus. And you don’t wanna hear about it? Come on, [caller] — if you are really offended, you gotta go to Israel then. I mean because we live in a country founded on Judeo — and that’s your guys’ — Christian, that’s my guys’ philosophy. But overwhelmingly, America is Christian. And the holiday is a federal holiday honoring the philosopher Jesus. So, you don’t wanna hear about it? Impossible.

The “philosopher Jesus?” As others have pointed out, where’s Plato’s holiday? Where’s Heidegger’s? More to the point, where’s Spinoza’s or Maimonides’? “Philosopher.” Bah.

Abraham Foxman of the ADL responds quite appropriately, and much more politely than I would have.

More dangerously, your remark plays into one of the oldest anti-Semitic canards about Jews, that they are not full citizens of a country and are not entitled to all of the rights afforded to the majority. The notion that religious minorities have no place in a Christian America and should leave may be acceptable for extremists, but it is unacceptable coming from a popular and respected media commentator.

To add to the “moron” part of this post’s title, O’Reilly also referred to the “seven candles” of Chanuka.

Just how popular is Fox News? Far too popular. It’s frightening. “Fair and Balanced.” Bah.

(Media Matters has the full text and audio clip of O’Reilly’s offensive rant)

First candle tonight, and I actually made some good choices in the gift-buying. A happy little girl–happy that latkes were ready when she got home from chess practice, happy with her presents, happy to say the blessings, light a candle, sing some songs–is the best Chanuka present a dad could ever have. We even cracked some walnuts (although I couldn’t find the dreidel) and played a game of Operation. Chanuka’s good when you’re a kid, but it can be even better when you’re a parent.

The great Colin Purrington (remember him from this post?), in association with a graphic designer, Felix Sockwell, has turned his hilarious (and completely accurate) parody stickers of the Cobb County, Georgia textbook stickers into this great chart. And it was in Sunday’s New York Times. It’s just as good as his original stickers…even funnier, in fact, and even sharper and more accurate, too. Thanks to the NCSE for noticing!

One day soon I’ll finally get my philosopher-king proposal worked out (Intellocracy), and the coup will follow shortly thereafter. I’ve had it (after this past election) with democracy. It’s a failed experiment, and it’s more than time to abandon it. In the new order, under the benevolent monarchy of the intelligentsia, all will be well, all shall be well, and all manner of things will be well.

Of course, in the meantime, we’ll probably need a century or two of plain old monarchy–beginning with me, HRH Joe I, and continuing through my descendants. After a few generations of that, we should be set.

Here’s Stephen Maturin on monarchy:

Man is a deeply illogical being, and must be ruled illogically. Whatever that frigid prig Bentham may say, there are innumerable motives that have nothing to do with utility. In good utilitarian logic a man does not sell all his goods to go crusading, nor does he build cathedrals; still less does he write verse. There are countless pieties without a name that find their focus in a crown. It is as well, I grant you, that the family should have worn it beyond the memory of man; for your recent creations do not answer – they are nothing in comparison of your priest-king, whose merit is irrelevant, whose place cannot be disputed, nor made the subject of a recurring vote.

I’m sure that most of us have heard about this sticker that (with some very devious and dishonest reasoning) the Cobb County school district has decided to put on their Biology textbooks. It’s a very bad move, suggesting to students that evolution is somehow questionable, or unreliable, or different from all the rest of the science (cells, atoms, gravity) they will be learning. The move, of course, was generated by the Intelligent Design movement, the “creationism in a lab coat” subterfuge currently being attempted since creationism itself can not be taught in public schools. Intelligent Design has been thoroughly and repeatedly debunked, and it does not belong in science classes (although the history and development of this anti-evolution movement, as well as its philosophical and religious roots, would make a great subject for a class in American History, History of Religion, Cultural Studies, Sociology, Anthropology, etc.)

But how to combat this kind of thing? How to make the point so clear that it can’t be missed? Well, Colin Purrington (an associate professor of evolutionary biology at Swarthmore–I’ve never met the man, but I’m a big admirer!) Has come up with a brilliant sheet of alternative stickers (see just one of my favorites on the right–there are about ten more, and some of them are even funnier). You can bet that right after Thanksgiving, when Staples is open again, I’m going to be buying me some sticker paper. These just beg to be printed. Thanks, Dr. Purrin! And please, everyone, make a donation to the National Center for Science Education today. Our students need all the help they can get.